Becoming a Survivor vs. Remaining a Victim
Many of us, men and women alike, have traveled through a point in time, (or many points in time) of abuse, trauma and pain. The trauma that I am going to speak about, is abuse that some of us had bestowed upon us.
The pain one feels inside from child abuse is unbearable. The child feels alone, unloved, unlovable, and often in a world all their own.
The parent or parents they are supposed to look up to and trust for everything in life, they simply cannot. They end up quite often not trusting anyone at all. Yet, they make due and survive unspeakable burdened young lives.
Is it such a shock then, that many go on to a pattern of being repeatedly abused? Being abused even though they don't like it becomes "normal". Some will turn to drugs to ease the inner pain they feel. Others alcohol. they simply do not want to feel anything anymore. They learned at quite a young age that feeling hurt so badly, to the brink of inconceivable loneliness, and wonderment as why am I here in the first place, is more than they can bare. They just want and need to be loved unconditionally.
The ache they feel from this is like a radar beacon for those that enjoy taking away your dignity, your love and your caring.
If this is the way you think and feel you are in "victim mode."
You need to get away from the "why me" and start moving to "why not me". You can turn it around.
Here are a couple of things that can help.
Meditation
This is a huge step that works so amazingly.
Put on some relaxing music and get comfy
Have a friend help you with this is you feel comfy to do so. They can help guide you through it by talking you through it.
Take 3 cleansing breaths slowly inhale through your nose deeply and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Start to visualize in your meditation yourself as a child. (you may need to do this a few times to heal every age of your child self)
Now, you at the age you are now, go and pick up the child you , an give that child all the unconditional love, and nurturing you deserve.
Say out loud "What a wonderful and beautiful child you are I love you so very much". "I will never let anyone hurt you again".
When you begin to believe this you will release tears. These are cleansing your spirit and giving you what your spirit has so long craved for. You are in effect mothering or fathering your child self.
It takes time and usually more than one attempt to get the full benefits of what this does for your soul.
How not to be Re-victimized
Another method I've helped people with is raising self esteem.
Stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom. Stare into your own eyes. (yes they are the mirrors of your soul)
Repeat "I like myself, I love myself, I will treat myself better."
Yes I know it's difficult at first to do, and you may even feel silly doing it. However the up side, is amazing empowerment. Let's face it you deserve to at least give it a shot. Just like eating 3 meals a day your soul needs to be fed as well. So why not try it 3 times a day.
Repeat it over and over till you believe it. If you don't believe it why should anyone else?
Your spirit is awesome and encased in wonderful beauty. Isn't it time to let that shine through the real you?
You become the survivor by doing this! Not in spite of childhood or bad marriage, (the list goes on) but because of it.
Yes it takes some work.
Yes it will take some tears, and yes you can do it.
On a personal note, I survived horrific abuse sustained at the hands and neglect of a parent. It almost cost me my life on three different occasions in my childhood. If I can survive that and be truly happy...why can't you?
What excuse could you possibly have to not have a wonderful life ?
As a survivor you can totally turn it around and use your experiences to help and guide another. Make something positive and awesome out of something negative and dark.
For those of you that have awesome loving parents an partners in life, please realize how blessed you truly are!
As the saying goes;
"There but by the grace of God go I"
© Dårla The Spiritual Place 2008
Many of us, men and women alike, have traveled through a point in time, (or many points in time) of abuse, trauma and pain. The trauma that I am going to speak about, is abuse that some of us had bestowed upon us.
The pain one feels inside from child abuse is unbearable. The child feels alone, unloved, unlovable, and often in a world all their own.
The parent or parents they are supposed to look up to and trust for everything in life, they simply cannot. They end up quite often not trusting anyone at all. Yet, they make due and survive unspeakable burdened young lives.
Is it such a shock then, that many go on to a pattern of being repeatedly abused? Being abused even though they don't like it becomes "normal". Some will turn to drugs to ease the inner pain they feel. Others alcohol. they simply do not want to feel anything anymore. They learned at quite a young age that feeling hurt so badly, to the brink of inconceivable loneliness, and wonderment as why am I here in the first place, is more than they can bare. They just want and need to be loved unconditionally.
The ache they feel from this is like a radar beacon for those that enjoy taking away your dignity, your love and your caring.
If this is the way you think and feel you are in "victim mode."
You need to get away from the "why me" and start moving to "why not me". You can turn it around.
Here are a couple of things that can help.
Meditation
This is a huge step that works so amazingly.
Put on some relaxing music and get comfy
Have a friend help you with this is you feel comfy to do so. They can help guide you through it by talking you through it.
Take 3 cleansing breaths slowly inhale through your nose deeply and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Start to visualize in your meditation yourself as a child. (you may need to do this a few times to heal every age of your child self)
Now, you at the age you are now, go and pick up the child you , an give that child all the unconditional love, and nurturing you deserve.
Say out loud "What a wonderful and beautiful child you are I love you so very much". "I will never let anyone hurt you again".
When you begin to believe this you will release tears. These are cleansing your spirit and giving you what your spirit has so long craved for. You are in effect mothering or fathering your child self.
It takes time and usually more than one attempt to get the full benefits of what this does for your soul.
How not to be Re-victimized
Another method I've helped people with is raising self esteem.
Stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom. Stare into your own eyes. (yes they are the mirrors of your soul)
Repeat "I like myself, I love myself, I will treat myself better."
Yes I know it's difficult at first to do, and you may even feel silly doing it. However the up side, is amazing empowerment. Let's face it you deserve to at least give it a shot. Just like eating 3 meals a day your soul needs to be fed as well. So why not try it 3 times a day.
Repeat it over and over till you believe it. If you don't believe it why should anyone else?
Your spirit is awesome and encased in wonderful beauty. Isn't it time to let that shine through the real you?
You become the survivor by doing this! Not in spite of childhood or bad marriage, (the list goes on) but because of it.
Yes it takes some work.
Yes it will take some tears, and yes you can do it.
On a personal note, I survived horrific abuse sustained at the hands and neglect of a parent. It almost cost me my life on three different occasions in my childhood. If I can survive that and be truly happy...why can't you?
What excuse could you possibly have to not have a wonderful life ?
As a survivor you can totally turn it around and use your experiences to help and guide another. Make something positive and awesome out of something negative and dark.
For those of you that have awesome loving parents an partners in life, please realize how blessed you truly are!
As the saying goes;
"There but by the grace of God go I"
© Dårla The Spiritual Place 2008
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