Just Thinking...

Just Thinking...
~
I wish I had a quarter for every time I felt lonely.
But then I'd be the richest,loneliest person.
I wish I had a smile for every tear that I've shed.
But then I'd have a room full of smiles with vacant eyes.
I wish I had strong arms to hold me when life let me down.
But then, I'd have so many arms around me that I'd be struggling to be set free.
And lastly, I wish I didn't feel so strongly, intensely, and deeply.
To the point that I make people want to run and hide.
But then, I wouldn't be me, and then,
you wouldn't remember my name.
~
Dårla © 1996

We All Need To Be Loved

We All Need To Be Loved
In this very busy world of rush around, and do this and that, people in general have turned off the wonderful emotional part of themselves. Some say it's for self protection. Others will tell you they don't have time because they have too many things they "WANT" to do with their lives. There are those that will concede, money is the reason for their lives.

To me these are excuses for not really living.

Self Protection Hurts You
When you close off your feelings for protection purposes, you prevent yourself from being the true loving soul you are meant to be. Yes we all have experiences that hurt, however when you deal with that from an emotional level, (and stand in your own truth with it) loving again and being open to loving becomes much easier.
No two human beings are exactly the same, so isn't it time to stop passing judgment on everyone, because of one or two people?
Self protection from loving=loneliness and depression.
That is how this self protection hurts you.

Too Busy
Many of us wake up and rush into the shower,
-take the children to day care
-head off to work
-pick up groceries after work
-pick up the children
-cook dinner
-do some hous work
-get ready for a well needed rest
Only to start all over again the next morning.

That constant go..go..go, is usually just for wants.
Our society is so judgmental and greed driven that many people fall into the trap of not listening to what their spirit needs. Instead, they listen to what society deems as the standard.

Ask yourself these questions an ponder upon it before you answer!

1- Are you tired all the time, and still don't have "YOU" time?
2-Is there someone in your family needing you, more than what you can give?
3-Are there road blocks in what you are spending all your time on ?

If you are tired all the time and still don't have enough time or you time, you must ask yourself if the path you've taken is worth it. Only you can answer this.
Is your happiness worth what you are doing ?

There is no amount money that can compare to the time spent with your family. If you feel inside that you are ripping someone off time wise that really needs you, listen to that inner voice. In the long run, you will happy you did.

Road blocks is the tough one. You have to already be in a state of watching and listening to the signs that the universe is providing for you. If it feels like you are going in circles not getting anywhere there is a good chance you are not getting anywhere. Ask for signs from the Creator. You will get them.

Standing in your own truth is so very important.

Money Motivated Living
I think this one is more prevalent in life today than anything else.
Many are chasing the all mighty dollar. If a piece of paper determines your worth I have to say without judging that your life really isn't worth very much. Sure today's society again sets the standards, but I am sure you would rather be a leader than a follower. If you stand in your own truth, you know if you have the basis covered (fed, housed and clothed). You are already further ahead than many that have nothing. So what if you don't have that fancy car, or swanky house. The richest people I know have a generosity, and abundance of spirit that shines through more than anything. That to me is wealth. Money is a tool to be used for good things. What I mean by that is giving without expectation of receiving in return is true giving. That is being rich.

So how do you ask does that apply to the title ? "We All Need To Be Loved" These are mere steps loving yourself. When you love yourself, without limits, love returns to you. When you take the time to get off the rat race tread mill, you are beginning to listen to what the universe has planned for you vs. what you have planned for you. You live much more fully as a loving being on a daily basis, than you do as one following the masses. 10% of the people in the world do a job that they love. What happens to the other 90%? Be one of the 10%. Love the job you have, or find one you do love. We all need to be loved. When everything in your life is positive and smoothly flowing, you exude love and you begin to truly live.

© Dårla The Spiritual Place 2008

Your Anger is Your Ego Working Overtime!

Your Anger is Your Ego Working Overtime!

You've been standing in line for 1/2 an hour
waiting to be seated at a table for lunch that
you only have a 1 hour time slot for.

Or

Someone just cut you off while driving
making you swerve to miss hitting them.

Or

You have 5 minutes to get to work
and there is a traffic back up that
makes it impossible to be there for at least
another 20 minutes.

These are all scenarios of what causes us to get frustrated and even angry. I am sure you can think of a few yourself that causes that little rage monkey to rear it's head. However, have you stopped to contemplate exactly why anger exists or comes out ?

Each and every one of us has been raised with a set of values and morals. Some of us are fortunate enough to also have instilled in us some spiritual values. Whatever it is, you at an early age, were taught what is acceptable and what is deemed not acceptable. We are taught to be proud of our accomplishments. The list goes on and differs from family to family.
As human beings we have set limits and boundaries on almost everything.

Seems wonderful right ? Well you decide for yourself.
From this we are also taught in a more subtle way, not to accept others ways of being.
Can you not remember as a child, being told not to associate with this person or that one because of how they behave or are because of their parents? While sometimes it's for good cause i.e.. safety issues, more times than not it's because of a lack of understanding for another's lifestyle.
This is what brings out EGO to the forefront.
We learn our way is the right way with no room for anyone else's way.
As we grow we learn not to take it so literally, however it stays in our subconscious.
Residual effects.
Our ego begins to behave on a subconscious level and anger takes over.
When we are offended isn't it because we wouldn't treat someone that way, so why would they treat us that way ?
Isn't that ego ?
The anger comes out, as a result of whatever the offense to our moral and value upbringing goes against.
But....
You can change that.
No it's not simple because for many of us we have had years of it..
My example is I would get angry over my feelings being hurt, because I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. If my character was bashed, that would send me reeling because again, it's not what I would do to anyone.
This is ego working it's magic into anger.

Once I began to understand this, I started to accept that each person has the right to live with whatever morals or values
they inherited from their family. It took away my judging, hence ego started to be removed, strange enough so did the anger.

Understanding where anger comes from is the first steps into removing it from your energy and spirit.

© Dårla The Spiritual Place 2008

Becoming a Survivor vs. Remaining a Victim

Becoming a Survivor vs. Remaining a Victim

Many of us, men and women alike, have traveled through a point in time, (or many points in time) of abuse, trauma and pain. The trauma that I am going to speak about, is abuse that some of us had bestowed upon us.

The pain one feels inside from child abuse is unbearable. The child feels alone, unloved, unlovable, and often in a world all their own.

The parent or parents they are supposed to look up to and trust for everything in life, they simply cannot. They end up quite often not trusting anyone at all. Yet, they make due and survive unspeakable burdened young lives.

Is it such a shock then, that many go on to a pattern of being repeatedly abused? Being abused even though they don't like it becomes "normal". Some will turn to drugs to ease the inner pain they feel. Others alcohol. they simply do not want to feel anything anymore. They learned at quite a young age that feeling hurt so badly, to the brink of inconceivable loneliness, and wonderment as why am I here in the first place, is more than they can bare. They just want and need to be loved unconditionally.

The ache they feel from this is like a radar beacon for those that enjoy taking away your dignity, your love and your caring.

If this is the way you think and feel you are in "victim mode."

You need to get away from the "why me" and start moving to "why not me". You can turn it around.

Here are a couple of things that can help.

Meditation

This is a huge step that works so amazingly.

Put on some relaxing music and get comfy

Have a friend help you with this is you feel comfy to do so. They can help guide you through it by talking you through it.

Take 3 cleansing breaths slowly inhale through your nose deeply and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Start to visualize in your meditation yourself as a child. (you may need to do this a few times to heal every age of your child self)

Now, you at the age you are now, go and pick up the child you , an give that child all the unconditional love, and nurturing you deserve.

Say out loud "What a wonderful and beautiful child you are I love you so very much". "I will never let anyone hurt you again".

When you begin to believe this you will release tears. These are cleansing your spirit and giving you what your spirit has so long craved for. You are in effect mothering or fathering your child self.

It takes time and usually more than one attempt to get the full benefits of what this does for your soul.

How not to be Re-victimized

Another method I've helped people with is raising self esteem.

Stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom. Stare into your own eyes. (yes they are the mirrors of your soul)

Repeat "I like myself, I love myself, I will treat myself better."

Yes I know it's difficult at first to do, and you may even feel silly doing it. However the up side, is amazing empowerment. Let's face it you deserve to at least give it a shot. Just like eating 3 meals a day your soul needs to be fed as well. So why not try it 3 times a day.

Repeat it over and over till you believe it. If you don't believe it why should anyone else?

Your spirit is awesome and encased in wonderful beauty. Isn't it time to let that shine through the real you?

You become the survivor by doing this! Not in spite of childhood or bad marriage, (the list goes on) but because of it.

Yes it takes some work.

Yes it will take some tears, and yes you can do it.

On a personal note, I survived horrific abuse sustained at the hands and neglect of a parent. It almost cost me my life on three different occasions in my childhood. If I can survive that and be truly happy...why can't you?
What excuse could you possibly have to not have a wonderful life ?

As a survivor you can totally turn it around and use your experiences to help and guide another. Make something positive and awesome out of something negative and dark.

For those of you that have awesome loving parents an partners in life, please realize how blessed you truly are!

As the saying goes;

"There but by the grace of God go I"

© Dårla The Spiritual Place 2008